Hi, Andy here. Pat and I have achieved a breakthrough. It seems that a lot of you, our dear friends and readers, have bad experiences of their own they want to share with the world. Maybe we're a bit alike in our talents. We have decided to open up the comment boards, so that you can post your tragicomedies. Just click on the "Comment" link after every post. You don't have to be a blogspot member to post. This means, even if you don't care to post, look for upcoming reader submitted stories under the comments pages. Together we can make the world a better place, one black eye at a time. Here is a hypothetical situation that might have happened to me on May 18th, 2007. Maybe.
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I am an English major. Let me paint you a picture.
You are at an outdoor party. A girl you know beckons to you. "Andy! Come over!" Now she whispers "There's this creepy guy that's hitting on me. What I want you to do is punch me, and then we'll play-fight and he'll go away."
"That is ridiculous, (name of girl)," you say, "it would look awful. I am not hitting you."
But she pleads. And begs. It's the only way to get him to leave her alone. You want to help her out, so finally you consent. But here's the thing: you're drunker than you thought. So that love tap is actually a full on stomach punch. POW IN THE BREADBASKET! So, maybe she goes down like a sack of flour. Maybe you think to yourself "It's all right, we're just playing!" Hypothetically, five girls crowd around her, help her to her feet, and stare at you like you are the root of all suffering in the world. You cause famine in Calcutta. Hurricane Katrina? That was you.
"It's cool!" you assure them, "We're just joking around!"
Suppose she starts crying. Bawling. Suppose all 40 party members hear her over the PA blasting Sean Paul, and turn to you. And you say "I-- should go." And walk away.
Lastly, suppose the day that took place was your school's official "National Domestic Violence Awareness Day".
(Hypothetically) Yours,
-Andy
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1 comment:
Hey Andy. I just wanted to let you know that your blog has really helped me out. Ever since I stopped worrying about whether or not my decisions were bad, I've been far more secure in everything that I've been doing. So what if I get kicked out of school and blow my future? I now know that if I do I'll be able to do so with the utmost confidence in my ability. Thanks Andy!
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